


Swim when it hurts

by Cirkne



Series: Breaking Glass [7]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Gen, M/M, Suicidal Yamaguchi, depressed Yamaguchi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-30
Updated: 2014-08-30
Packaged: 2018-02-15 09:58:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2224779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cirkne/pseuds/Cirkne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yamaguchi tells Tsukishima about depression</p>
            </blockquote>





	Swim when it hurts

**Author's Note:**

> "This is going to have a few parts with Tsukishima and most of them will be just Yamaguchi" - me when I started planning this. I was so wrong I'm trash this pairing is my life
> 
> Title from Swim by Jack's Mannequin

You convince yourself you're broken. Like pieces of glass on the ground. People try to get rid of them, you tell yourself they want to get rid of you too.

When he tells Tsukishima he's depressed Yamaguchi is expecting to be laughed at. Kei seems to enjoy surprising the smaller with his reactions. He sits down next to Yamaguchi on his bed. Tadashi is looking at his hands like he was the whole time trying to formulate his words.

It's not unusual for them to be invading each other's personal space so when Tsukishima leans in and their shoulders are touching Yamaguchi doesn't move away.

"Tell me" Kei starts, looks at the boy's face. "Tell me what does it feel like to be depressed."

Yamaguchi takes his time with the answer. Weights the words on his tongue and inhales. Thinks of what's the best way to describe it.

"When you're drowning you feel unbearable pain right up to the moment you give up. It gets too hard to fight and when you inhale, your lungs filling with water, the pain disappears." Yamaguchi looks up for a moment then his eyes find his hands again. "It's like that" he says. "You know you should try everything to stay alive but it feels like your head is going to explode. And the worst part" he stops, stays silent for a couple of seconds and when he speaks up his voice is shaking. "The worst part is that you can see everyone else swimming. They don't notice you've been underwater for too long. No one ever notices."

They sit like that for awhile. Yamaguchi figures Tsukishima is taking in what he just heard and he himself is trying not to cry. 

"What if someone tried to give you a hand?" Kei starts carefully. "Would you take it?"

"Why would anyone want to give me a hand, Tsukki?" is the response. "I'm like broken glass. I'd only cut it."

After a few days Yamaguchi thinks his best friend forgot everything he said because the taller hasn't mentioned anything. He's wrong again. Tsukishima takes him to some art gallery and drags him to the second floor, shows him an art piece of a fish. 

Yamaguchi turns to him with question but looks back at the fish when Kei puts his hand on the boy's shoulder. 

"It's a mosaic. They're made of broken glass" Tsukishima starts "and they're still art."

Yamaguchi is broken. Shattered in so many pieces no one could pick them all up. Some people still try.


End file.
